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Content warning: this post contains a text description of a suicide attempt.
In his new Hulu documentary, “Life in Pink,” Colson Baker, better known as Machine Gun Kelly, offers an intimate look at some of the most memorable and traumatic moments of his life, including a suicide attempt following his father’s death. As an adolescent, Kelly was rebellious, creating a strained relationship with his father that lasted for years. When his dad became sick in 2019, the “Bloody Valentine” singer went to visit him, stirring up complex emotions that Kelly shared on Twitter. “flew out to see my dad today. broke down in my daughters arms when i saw him,” he wrote on Dec. 24, 2019. “I should’ve told him that I loved him years ago. breaks my f*ckin heart that we wasted all this time…”
On the one-year anniversary of his fourth studio album, “Hotel Diablo,” Kelly announced that his father had died that same morning. “i had plans for the one year anniversary of Hotel Diablo today,” he tweeted on July 5, 2020. “that album was everything i wanted to say and i know it’s close to my fans… but my father took his last breath this morning, and ive never felt a pain this deep in my life.”
Halfway through the documentary, which was released on June 28, the “Papercuts” singer candidly explains the dark spiral he went into following his father’s death. “I flew to my dad’s apartment to clear all this stuff out. I had this really weird interaction with this neighbor who told me all these things I didn’t want to hear,” he says in the film, according to People. “That f*cked me up even more because I couldn’t get closure on it. I wouldn’t leave my room and I started getting really, really, really dark.”
